Wisdom's Ancestor

I'm sitting here tonight a bit confused and sad.  Maybe it's the Seattle weather, which trust me, would make anyone sad. 

Nah, not just the weather.  The feeling that's floating around me is hard to shake.  It's been a tough week.  The weekend's events shadowed the week.  Monday, I said good-bye to a fabulous client as she finished her work and is off to Africa!  I am thrilled for her and will miss her.  I gave a presentation at the University of Washington this week.  I usually love doing that, working with the students, offering them insights into their personalities, as we discuss the ways that humans affect the outcome of any enterprise.  Sigh.  Presentation fell flat.  Energy kept shifting. 

Rest of the week, more of the same.

Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out what's up.  Is this just me? Or are others feeling the same way?  My mind wanders back to Arizona.  Am I more affected by the shootings in Arizona than I have acknowledged? Are others?

I read an article this week that is rolling around in my head.  George Freidman wrote the article and in it he suggested that America is a Republic that accidently became an Empire.  We created this country to be one thing, and it became another.  Now it fights itself, Republic vs Empire, like the Black and White Wolf, a never-ending battle.  ( See below, Right Leadership:  A Story of Two Wolves.)

I realize I am more like the black wolf tonight: edgy, a bit frustrated, and itching for an argument. I set an intention for this week to be productive and full, energetic and prosperous.  Despite my best efforts, didn't happen.  My intention devolved to attachment, and now I feel disappointed and crappy. 

I am searching my knowledge for the nugget that applies here, for the wisdom that my teachers have shared with me and that I can pass along. 

At first nothing comes, and the edginess takes a firmer grip.  Slowly, though, like a wafting feather, something tickles me at the very back of my mind.  Tugging at this resisting thought, I finally yank it free.

"All energy is neutral, Kelleen."

I expel my breathe, the shoulders come down, I allow my head to hang for just a second. All energy is neutral, neither positive nor negative.  We transmute it, make it into something, and this alchemy touches the inner core of who we are and reflects back to us through the lens of our outer world. 

This discernment, wisdom's ancestor, is what went lacking this week.   I lost touch with my ability to discern truth and hold a vision.  It is a good lesson.

All energy is neutral. We make it otherwise. 

The Light and Dark Side of Power

"Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely."  So goes the only teaching I have ever had on power. So I've left it alone, or thought I did.  However, disdaining something and judging it....so not the same as leaving it alone!

And that could be why Power came looking for me this weekend. 

Somewhere back in the annals of history someone made the connection between the word 'power' and the word 'manipulation.' This became the origin of my logic, my knowing, of the word power.  My thinking went like this:  If you were powerful, you were likely to be someone who got things done, at any cost.  Power therefore equated to manipulation, the ability to control, force, demand, even change the natural course of a thing.  It is the antithesis of everything I stand for. 

This weekend someone mentioned that the work I'm doing, the research and the mentorships, "are very powerful." Oh my!  I was thrown into the deep end, no lifejacket.  We spent an hour discussing power and I emerged with my confidantes' beliefs ringing in my ear:  "Everything we do, say, or think, must always be viewed at the very least as a ploy for more power. To deny this, is to be dangerous to ourself and others."

I've spent the better part of my life, denying power its due. Rejecting it, resisting its presence, I see now how I forfeited many opportunities to express myself effectively, to listen actively, and to show up.  With new appreciation, I accept that Power IS the ability to manipulate AND it can both force an outcome and/or illuminate one.

With integrity, wisdom, and humility, we can step into our personal power, be impeccable with our words and actions, and illuminate and expand possibilities.  It is when we aren't in right relationship - when we lack respect for all things and deny service to a common good - that we fall prey to the dark side: control.

The Native People have a saying, "How do you corrupt a righteous man?  Give him one follower." In many tribes there is no word in the language for leader; each is a leader, by the fact of their existence, by original design. And that is the genesis of a deep sincere compliment expressed this way, "She is a leader without followers."

Now, today, when we are demanding accountability from our institutions, our governments, and our communities, take a moment to look to your own right use of power, to the moments when you sought first to clarify and illuminate, and, to those moments when you were impatient, 'certain' of the 'right' outcome, and determined to get it.

Notice the difference.  Be a leader without followers.

Choose to illuminate. 

Right Leadership: A Story of Two Wolves

I came across a blog post today that shared bits of a story that I hold as one of my personal favorites.  It is not okay with me that this story be shared in bits.  So I rewrite the whole story here, to honor those who first told it and those who keep it going.

It is for the warrior/leader in all of us.  The best I can determine in research is that this is a Cherokee story, although the exact origin, time and location, is unknown.  Many take credit for it.  I will leave credit where it is due, to the wisdom teachers of all time.

Grandfather sat outside as he was wont to do every day.  He noticed that his Grandson was walking toward him, but seemed angry.  He was kicking the dirt, and Grandfather could see there were streaks of tears running down his face. Grandson did not pay any attention to where he was, he was lost in his own thoughts.  He threw a rock as hard as he could, and with a yelling shout, he continued walking.

Grandfather called out and finally got the attention of his grandson, who walked over toward him.  Grandfather said, "Sit down and tell me what has happened."

Grandson began to tell the story.  On this day it was his birthday and he received as a present from his parents, a knife.  He was very happy with his present and showed it to the other kids.  Some boys thought this present should not have been given, they thought him too young, they envied his present, and they started to taunt the boy.  Soon, a shoving match started, and then a full on fight.  Punches were thrown, the knife was taken.  "Grandfather, I hate them!" said Grandson.

"Mmm," Grandfather pondered this.  Then he said, "I too have had this inside of me. Let me tell you a story." Grandson was in no mood for one these stories, they were always long and Grandfather always wanted to teach something.  Grandson wanted to fight, he wanted to be angry, and he wanted to find an outlet for this anger.

Grandfather insisted, "Sit.  This story won't take long and it is a story about me when I was your age and felt these same things."

This was something the boy did not hear often, stories about when his Granddfather was a boy.  So he sat.

"I have had something living inside of me my whole life," Grandfather began. "I discovered them when I was your age and went to speak with my father and his father. You see, I know I have two wolves that live in my heart and in my head.  They live inside of me in my soul.  One of these wolves is a white wolf, and he is a seeker of beauty and harmony, he loves balance and peaceful contentness, and he will fight if it is the only way, but he often knows there are many ways, many solutions to problems.  Next to him is a black wolf, and he is angry most of the time, he seeks vengence, and will look first to fight.  He lives with jealousy and envy inside of him, he judges everything and has little respect."

Grandson was captivated by this story, and asked, "why doesn't the black wolf kill the white wolf?"

"This, is a good question," Grandfather smiled. "The two wolves live inside of me and are chained at the neck together, not too close, but close enough, they can circle each other and keep their distance.  They must be very vigilant and so must I."

Grandson reflected on this, and how he felt when his knife was taken and he got into a fight.  He could feel his anger disappearing, but he was still puzzled by something. "Grandfather, I don't understand.  If these two wolves live inside of you, and you are saying they are inside of me too, which one wins?"

Grandfather smiled, "This, is a good question."

Looking directly into his grandson's eyes, he said, "The one you feed."

In order for our spirits to truly be free, we must look inside of ourselves and discover who we really are, every little awful wonderful thing. We must accept ourselves in this wholeness, and then, and only then, can we step into right leadership, and be wise men and women, right leaders of our time.

In deep gratitude to those who have passed down this story.... 

Humility

Today is extraordinary.  Not because we have snow here in Seattle, the first of the season, and not because we are coming into the Holidays, with all of its festivities. 

Today is extraordinary, because I sit here typing on my computer looking out my Southward-facing windows onto my little porch with my plants all sprinkled with snow and I received a visitor.  The most beautiful hummingbird, green and red, came right to my door, pecked his beak on my window as if looking to get inside, and stayed there flicking his wings, looking right at me, for what seemd like minutes, probably seconds, but I stopped breathing, in those seconds.  I'd never been that close, though separated by a pane of glass, so close. 

When I started breathing again, a big smile spread across my face.  I felt like that little kid I once was, and then more grown up and not so little as time flew by, waiting impatiently on Christmas Eve, in and amongst all the bright tiny lights and the happy colored wrapping paper, that air of expectation, and awe, and wonder.

I have the lightest of hearts right now.  And it made me think what is means to be humble, to have sincere humility. The tiniest little creature, with what I understand, has the most valient of hearts.  And its own super powers - the ability to fly backwards! 

I know that Level 5 Leadership comprises humility and will.  I am pleased to have had this reminder from the hummingbird today, a true symbol of what leadership - and joy! - can look like this, in these times. 

To Stand Alone and Risk Looking Ridiculous

When I had some medical challenges earlier this year and had to have surgery, I wasn't worried, not at first.  I'd put away money for just such a thing.   Like a good soldier, I had my surgery, recovered, and went back to work.

It was while I was building my clientele back that I understood for the first time that I had crossed some invisible line.  I realized that:

• I do coach my clients, but I can not define myself as simply a coach, not anymore
• I do consult with my clients but I would never want to be classified with the likes of the McKinsey's
• What I do and how I do it is very different than anything that has been tried in the past, and
• I've gone to the very edge of my comfort, that place on the ancient maps that says, "Beyond here th'er be dragons!"

In the midst of this discomforting insight, a family member asked me, "Why?  Why do you keep going? You don't have anything to prove. It wouldn't be a failure.  Just let it go.  Come back to the East Coast.  Get a job here, any job."

In an instant, every moment I have ever failed flashed through my head and with brilliant searing clarity, I realized that failure wasn't even possible. 

The secret is out.  MacGregor, Schein, Csikszentmihalyi, they started it.  And these leaders, all have lead the way: Tony Hsieh, John Mackey, Tim Ferriss, George Zimmer, Roxanne Emmerich, Tony Schwartz, Stephen M. Covey, Christine Comaford-Lynch, Keith Ferrazzi, Bill George, Hazel Henderson, Sarano Kelley, Tim Sanders, Casey Sheahan , Vicki Robin, Shai Agassi, Ping Fu, Lance Secretan, Tami Simon, Randy Komisar, Chip Conley, Juanita Brown, Richard Barrett, Lisa Nirell, Srikumar Rao, Bo Burlingham, Bettie Spruill, Paul Spiegelman, Marcia Wieder, Alan Gregerman, Kellie McElhaney, Chester Elton, Monika Broecker, Ari Weinzweig, Ahmed Rahim, Jeff Hayzlett, Simon Sinek, Raj Sisodia.

And me! I have added my piece - Transforming the human side of enterprise is one of the four components of creating sustainability.  People, planet, profit and purpose, the quadruple bottom line, all connected. 

Failure isn't possible simply because I am in too much good company. But something else nagged at me.  Why don't I just quit?  And the answer came:

.... because I'm still afraid.

In 1999, I raised my hand timidly at Columbia Business School and asked my professors, "In what class will we learn how to get along with each other and work together?"

Complete silence.  Then one of the academic supervisors said, "HR is next semester."  Everyone laughed. Except me. I didn't get it.  Where were the 'people' people? But, I tucked my head and went back to coloring inside the lines.

It's been twelve years since that day.  And I've picked at this scab every day, chipping away at the idea that how people work in a business is just as important if not more important than how the business itself works. 

I've heard it said that 'to stand alone and risk looking ridiculous' is the measure of a true leader. Until last Thursday I was uncertain of my leadership status.  

At the Boeing Auditorium at the University of Washington, I stood alone and said, "Ten years from now, not a single company or enterprise will exist without a Chief Culture Officer, a Director of Culture, or even simply named, the 'people' people."

I suppose I can quit now. 

Nah.