"Radio has no future." Lord Kelvin, 1899

"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on their way out." 

Music executive, 1962, after turning down the Beatles.

I have a hundred of these.  The pundits, the naysayers, the opinionated, the certain. Kinda funny when you read it now.  I'm sure at the time, though, it carried some weight, maybe it felt heavy, ominous.  What did John or Paul think?  Did they know this was said?  Doesn't seem to have made a hoot of difference. And yet, could it have stopped the Beatles before they became "THE BEATLES"?

Statements made by other people tearing down our idea, our value add, our creation, are a dime a dozen. Most of us have a thick enough skin that we can slough these off.  What about the statements, the critiques, we make about ourselves?

"By the time I am 33, I will have to do something else."  Mick Jagger

He's in his late 60's now, right? Point is, we don't know where we are going or where our choices will take us.  We can limit or expand our experience.  We can take to heart the negative or take apart our dream. Listening to criticism, or as one of my former employers liked to call it, 'running to criticism,' only reinforces... criticism.  The critic, the judge, a very popular archetype in our society, drives us hard.

Are you aware of your voice of judgment, the harsh critic that calls the shots from the dark cave of your ego? Yeah, I know, that sounded a bit Edgar Allen Poe-ish, all noir and dense. But think about it? Who really makes your decisions?

This week take extra minutes to focus.  Really concentrate on what you are doing, and what you are thinking about what you are doing? As you read an email, what thoughts pop into your mind?  As you wait for a reply to an email, what thoughts are creating meaning about why you haven't heard back from the person?

The inner dialogue is fascinating, it can create and it can destroy.  Pay attention. Be full of care, listen deeply to yourself and others. And, here's a reframe on criticism: run to discernment, instead. 

If you've read my posts, you already know that wisdom is required for discerning, wisdom requires heart, as well as head. 

A Message to New Leaders

Just caught myself out.

I read an article about Gen Y'ers.  The article made the assertion that this group of individuals has a particularly egregious trait.  The article suggested that all Gen Y'ers are narcissists.

I kept reading because I was intrigued. I wanted to know what the author meant by 'narcissist.' And I wondered if it was possible to so stereotype a group of people.  I noticed too how irritated I was.  Now that's weird - it was just an article.

Reading further, I found no definition of narcissism.   Hmmmm.

Then I asked myself if it even made sense that 10, 20 and 30 yr olds were narcissists? Under the literal definition of that word, we would have a ton of insecure people running around, either trying to get attention or avoiding it, with lots of carnage strewn everywhere.  Emphasis on the last part of that sentence..carnage everywhere. 

A quick study of narcissists reveals that they have no real empathy for others.  They experience the world as being completely about them because they are afraid they aren't good enough. When they get information in their surroundings that would suggest they, in fact, are wrong, bad, or not good enough, they react, often poorly, not being able to tolerate the implications. Some lash out at those around them; others lash out at themselves with self-critical analysis.  Both judge the situation as unfair and view themselves as victims. 

Now doesn't that sounds suspiciously like another group?  Maybe that's why they also call Gen Y'ers, the Echo Boomers.  I come from the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation.  We were once the poster children for self-absorbed, it's-all-about-me, behavior.  Get rich, do it now, go-go-go, more-more-more.  We defined 'societal civilized narcissism.' And it appeared to work for our generation .......for about 25 years.

Then the tendency to go too far started to show up.  As in too far economically. Too far environmentally. The presence of predatory capitalism emerged. Our financial system is collapsing.  Our environment is struggling.  25% of American children are starving.  Talk about carnage everywhere.

HBR ran the article about Gen Y's being narcissists. I was irritated that such an esteemed institution of learning wants to pawn off our mistakes and challenges on a group of 20 - 30 year olds.

That's when I realized I was irritated at myself.  

I am responsible.

I am a part of the whole that created the system we have right now.  Because I lacked empathy and courage, I was a bystander as we let our natural systems be corrupted.

And, I am also response-able.  With awareness of who and what I really am, I can shift my thinking and my behavior.  I no longer wish to be a bystander, one of the 'scribes' that comes down from the hills after the war is waged and shoots the wounded. 

As a new leader, please do consider that you are response-able, too.  Lean into the challenge of change. Let empathy and courage lead the way.