Skeptics and Skepticism

Sometimes I don't write for a while because something is brewing inside of me and looking for a way to grab my attention.  That's the case this month.

I've grappled with the subject of skeptics my whole life and it suddenly dawned on me, I'm not the only one.

If you've read my blogs, you know there was one where I told you the story of doing a cartwheel. I desparately wanted to be a cheerleader, I was still in grade school and it was a big deal. To be on the squad, though, you had to do a cartwheel, minimum requirement.

The gist of that story was the remembered taunting of the other kids, the shouts of 'kelly belly' on the schoolyard, as I tried and fell, tried and fell. And the ultimate victory that persistence brings, doing a cartwheel and making it on the team.

I had alot of skeptics back then, even my parents tried to dissuade me, perhaps thinking an overweight kid is just going to embarass herself.

Here's the thing:  the skepticism never eased up. In fact, it got more intense as I grew up.  The numbers are in the hundreds and now thousands of people I would encounter who would ask me something about myself and I would answer and receive a barrage of naysaying, doubting, challenging, sometimes angry, skeptical retorts. Even close friends, family.

We've heard about this before, right?  Michael Jordan not making it on his high school's basketball team, most famous example.  Somehow those stories seem far removed from my little coffee shop, and my morning cuppa joe and that one person who seems interested and curious, and then wham, before your caffeine has kicked in, your told five ways your story/dream/idea/purpose doesn't work.

Does dreaming a really big dream scare that many people?

I'm dreaming a really big dream right now.  I'm in California, and I'm going back to school for a Ph.D. Here's the big hairy audacious goal: how can we shift our corporate/business models so their focus is on human growth and development and secondarily on commerce?

I have an idea how to do that. (And a ton of people who are skeptical!)

Even so, I have an idea.....and I'm going for it.

I wrote this for my current and future clients.  Here's the takeaway: Skeptics are there to hone our choices, to make us better, to shape and mold our ideas. Thank them, honor them, stay the course, tweak it, and carry on!

Death and Change

Sometimes when I sit down to write this blog the themes of the week are so strong that the post really writes itself.  This is one such week.

I will acquaint you with a concept that is well known in the wisdom teachings but rarely is it ever discussed in polite society:  Everything dies.  No exceptions.

I read a statistic that the average life span of a company in the US is 40 - 50 years.  Companies die, for lots of reasons.  Market forces, product innovation, cash flow, fraud, you name it, the dis-eases that can afflict a corporation are as numerous as the ones that can and do afflict human beings.  There is a life death life cycle for everything. 

Now this alone is not a truly remarkable fact, but it does set the groundwork for something that is remarkable - collectively, we pretend the opposite, we pretend that everything lives, forever.  We know that is not a true statement, but we ignore it.

Because death feels so uncontrollable, so nasty.  There is grief and sorrow, and fear, as when our colleagues are let go or when a division gets disbanded. Try talking to an entrepreneur about retirement and succession planning.  I actually had one executive say to me, "I don't need to plan, I'm gonna live forever."  He had a smile on his face, but you know what they say about all things said in jest, right?

We do alot of damage when we don't acknowledge the little and big deaths in our lives.  Many employees who have been notified that they will be let go on a precise day, report feeling shunned by colleagues.  "People just exiled me, stopped talking to me outright in some cases.  I felt like vermin."

We've all done it.

The wisdom teachings tell us - Death always takes its due.  So let it, and be done.  Here is an example of giving Death her due.  We are coming up on the famous Day of the Dead. Many Mexican friends of mine will be honoring death and their departed by placing on the grave of a departed love one all the things they loved in life.  A stroll through a cemetery can be a bit amusing as you pass by bottles of scotch, tobacco, and pictures of scantily clad women!  

As leaders, when a death of any magnitude occurs, pause, find the ways to acknowledge your own feelings, and let others do the same. Say the hard thing, express the difficult emotions.  Let it go. 

Death is inevitable and uncontrollable, so that makes life unpredictable and absolutely precious.  A cliche for sure - but it's worth saying again, carpe diem. 

To Stand Alone and Risk Looking Ridiculous

When I had some medical challenges earlier this year and had to have surgery, I wasn't worried, not at first.  I'd put away money for just such a thing.   Like a good soldier, I had my surgery, recovered, and went back to work.

It was while I was building my clientele back that I understood for the first time that I had crossed some invisible line.  I realized that:

• I do coach my clients, but I can not define myself as simply a coach, not anymore
• I do consult with my clients but I would never want to be classified with the likes of the McKinsey's
• What I do and how I do it is very different than anything that has been tried in the past, and
• I've gone to the very edge of my comfort, that place on the ancient maps that says, "Beyond here th'er be dragons!"

In the midst of this discomforting insight, a family member asked me, "Why?  Why do you keep going? You don't have anything to prove. It wouldn't be a failure.  Just let it go.  Come back to the East Coast.  Get a job here, any job."

In an instant, every moment I have ever failed flashed through my head and with brilliant searing clarity, I realized that failure wasn't even possible. 

The secret is out.  MacGregor, Schein, Csikszentmihalyi, they started it.  And these leaders, all have lead the way: Tony Hsieh, John Mackey, Tim Ferriss, George Zimmer, Roxanne Emmerich, Tony Schwartz, Stephen M. Covey, Christine Comaford-Lynch, Keith Ferrazzi, Bill George, Hazel Henderson, Sarano Kelley, Tim Sanders, Casey Sheahan , Vicki Robin, Shai Agassi, Ping Fu, Lance Secretan, Tami Simon, Randy Komisar, Chip Conley, Juanita Brown, Richard Barrett, Lisa Nirell, Srikumar Rao, Bo Burlingham, Bettie Spruill, Paul Spiegelman, Marcia Wieder, Alan Gregerman, Kellie McElhaney, Chester Elton, Monika Broecker, Ari Weinzweig, Ahmed Rahim, Jeff Hayzlett, Simon Sinek, Raj Sisodia.

And me! I have added my piece - Transforming the human side of enterprise is one of the four components of creating sustainability.  People, planet, profit and purpose, the quadruple bottom line, all connected. 

Failure isn't possible simply because I am in too much good company. But something else nagged at me.  Why don't I just quit?  And the answer came:

.... because I'm still afraid.

In 1999, I raised my hand timidly at Columbia Business School and asked my professors, "In what class will we learn how to get along with each other and work together?"

Complete silence.  Then one of the academic supervisors said, "HR is next semester."  Everyone laughed. Except me. I didn't get it.  Where were the 'people' people? But, I tucked my head and went back to coloring inside the lines.

It's been twelve years since that day.  And I've picked at this scab every day, chipping away at the idea that how people work in a business is just as important if not more important than how the business itself works. 

I've heard it said that 'to stand alone and risk looking ridiculous' is the measure of a true leader. Until last Thursday I was uncertain of my leadership status.  

At the Boeing Auditorium at the University of Washington, I stood alone and said, "Ten years from now, not a single company or enterprise will exist without a Chief Culture Officer, a Director of Culture, or even simply named, the 'people' people."

I suppose I can quit now. 

Nah.