Skeptics and Skepticism

Sometimes I don't write for a while because something is brewing inside of me and looking for a way to grab my attention.  That's the case this month.

I've grappled with the subject of skeptics my whole life and it suddenly dawned on me, I'm not the only one.

If you've read my blogs, you know there was one where I told you the story of doing a cartwheel. I desparately wanted to be a cheerleader, I was still in grade school and it was a big deal. To be on the squad, though, you had to do a cartwheel, minimum requirement.

The gist of that story was the remembered taunting of the other kids, the shouts of 'kelly belly' on the schoolyard, as I tried and fell, tried and fell. And the ultimate victory that persistence brings, doing a cartwheel and making it on the team.

I had alot of skeptics back then, even my parents tried to dissuade me, perhaps thinking an overweight kid is just going to embarass herself.

Here's the thing:  the skepticism never eased up. In fact, it got more intense as I grew up.  The numbers are in the hundreds and now thousands of people I would encounter who would ask me something about myself and I would answer and receive a barrage of naysaying, doubting, challenging, sometimes angry, skeptical retorts. Even close friends, family.

We've heard about this before, right?  Michael Jordan not making it on his high school's basketball team, most famous example.  Somehow those stories seem far removed from my little coffee shop, and my morning cuppa joe and that one person who seems interested and curious, and then wham, before your caffeine has kicked in, your told five ways your story/dream/idea/purpose doesn't work.

Does dreaming a really big dream scare that many people?

I'm dreaming a really big dream right now.  I'm in California, and I'm going back to school for a Ph.D. Here's the big hairy audacious goal: how can we shift our corporate/business models so their focus is on human growth and development and secondarily on commerce?

I have an idea how to do that. (And a ton of people who are skeptical!)

Even so, I have an idea.....and I'm going for it.

I wrote this for my current and future clients.  Here's the takeaway: Skeptics are there to hone our choices, to make us better, to shape and mold our ideas. Thank them, honor them, stay the course, tweak it, and carry on!

Wisdom's Ancestor

I'm sitting here tonight a bit confused and sad.  Maybe it's the Seattle weather, which trust me, would make anyone sad. 

Nah, not just the weather.  The feeling that's floating around me is hard to shake.  It's been a tough week.  The weekend's events shadowed the week.  Monday, I said good-bye to a fabulous client as she finished her work and is off to Africa!  I am thrilled for her and will miss her.  I gave a presentation at the University of Washington this week.  I usually love doing that, working with the students, offering them insights into their personalities, as we discuss the ways that humans affect the outcome of any enterprise.  Sigh.  Presentation fell flat.  Energy kept shifting. 

Rest of the week, more of the same.

Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out what's up.  Is this just me? Or are others feeling the same way?  My mind wanders back to Arizona.  Am I more affected by the shootings in Arizona than I have acknowledged? Are others?

I read an article this week that is rolling around in my head.  George Freidman wrote the article and in it he suggested that America is a Republic that accidently became an Empire.  We created this country to be one thing, and it became another.  Now it fights itself, Republic vs Empire, like the Black and White Wolf, a never-ending battle.  ( See below, Right Leadership:  A Story of Two Wolves.)

I realize I am more like the black wolf tonight: edgy, a bit frustrated, and itching for an argument. I set an intention for this week to be productive and full, energetic and prosperous.  Despite my best efforts, didn't happen.  My intention devolved to attachment, and now I feel disappointed and crappy. 

I am searching my knowledge for the nugget that applies here, for the wisdom that my teachers have shared with me and that I can pass along. 

At first nothing comes, and the edginess takes a firmer grip.  Slowly, though, like a wafting feather, something tickles me at the very back of my mind.  Tugging at this resisting thought, I finally yank it free.

"All energy is neutral, Kelleen."

I expel my breathe, the shoulders come down, I allow my head to hang for just a second. All energy is neutral, neither positive nor negative.  We transmute it, make it into something, and this alchemy touches the inner core of who we are and reflects back to us through the lens of our outer world. 

This discernment, wisdom's ancestor, is what went lacking this week.   I lost touch with my ability to discern truth and hold a vision.  It is a good lesson.

All energy is neutral. We make it otherwise. 

Culture is Contagious

I get alot of skepticism in the work I do.  People often ask me how my work is any different from the big OD firms, from the McKinsey's, and whether I really believe that culture can be changed. 

There are so many things I feel and think when I get this question.  The biggest thought that flashes through my mind is, 'my goodness, what are these other consulting firms doing wrong?'  (joking!)

But let's go with the flip side, 'what am I doing right?'

It starts with the belief that culture is contagious.  It is the easiest thing in the world to catch and the simplest to change.  There are no excuses for a rotten culture.     

Think of it like this.  I'll use the analogy of taking a trip to a foreign country.  Say for instance, you're going to France and Italy; you'll be there for three weeks.  You've read up on all the places you'll be visiting, and even know a few phrases in the native tongue to get you by.  You start your trip in the French countryside, greeted every morning with fresh baguettes coming into the house, still warm.  On the fourth day of your trip, you start to notice that you use your hands more expressively. You laugh at yourself and your partner laughs too!  By the time you get to Italy, you're saying, "mangia!!!," with both your hands flying in the air as if they were the ones doing the talking.  How did this happen?

Culture is contagious.  In any single moment, we can catch it.  When we choose to willingly put ourselves in a place we want to be, and we open ourselves up to the experience, we're likely going to catch something, something really good.   It could be a new way of seeing and being, a new approach or attitude, a new skill.  If we're open to possibilities and patient with the process, 'catching a culture' can be an exhilarating experience.

But there's a catch to catching a culture.  Like any contagion, there needs to be a consistent vehicle. 

That vehicle is called 'climate.' Climate is the weather, the temperature around the table. It's our attitude, our thoughts, and our behaviors.  It can be that big wind blowing on the other side of the conference room or the hot air coming from our colleague to the left. 

This is climate. It is everything we do and everything we don't do. Each one of us.  Everyday. Shift these, the attitudes, the behaviors, the expectations, and we shift our climate.  Do this consistently, and we shift our culture. 

So back to the question posed at the beginning:  what is different about my work and why does it seem to be so successful? 

I work with the climate, not the culture.  Day in, day out, I sit with my clients and their leadership teams and I notice each person. Here are just a few examples of what I might notice:

• I notice silence from the team member who is most experienced with an application
• I notice vocal ambiguity from a high performer
• I notice disagreement from the team member who consistently fights against and rarely fights for.

Hundreds of factors affect climate.  Most are unconscious, and once brought into awareness, dissipate. And that's my job, without judgment or blame, I bring attention to these small opportunities for change.  And each small change adds up to a collection of days and weeks and months of climate change that then tips the balance, and shifts the culture.

My work is successful because the people I work with invite me in.  They are committed to catching a culture of balance, harmony, sustainablility, and prosperity.  Many of them tell me that somewhere in the back of their minds is a little voice asking, "Am I contagious today?"

Act As If

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

Happens alot, actually.  You're in a meeting and people are floundering, the project has stopped, key input hasn't arrived. Resources are dwindling, and pressure is rising.  And the moment that you know is coming, arrives.

Everyone looks up, simultaneously, and stares at - YOU.

You're the go-to guy, the girl with the answers.  Except you aren't, because you can't, or don't want to, or don't have any.  At this exact moment you wish everyone would just figure it out for themselves. You want to indulge your little itty bitsy 6 year old, and just throw a wild tantrum on the conference table.

But you don't, because you can't.

And you do what you always do, make a few suggestions, get people unstuck from the rigidity of their positions, and mostly hope that no one knows that you pulled a "PIOOMA-MIU." (For those of you in the dark about this phrase, it stands for, 'pulled it out of my ass, made it up.'  It sounds Hawaiian when you pronounce it:  PIE - u - ma, MY - U.  Cool, huh?)

Instead of seeing it as a 'wing it' situation, see it as an opportunity to 'act as if'.  Act as if you knew the answer, as if the next course direction is assured, act as if innovation and creativity do in fact lead to greatness.  Step into the shoes of the Wright Brothers, the Gates garage gang, the 3M scientist inventor of sticky notes. 

They did what was required, what was needed, what made sense.  In the process they created something out of nothing.  Acting as if, beats the heck out of the alternative, and might actually create the ground work for a new culture, a creative culture. 

And wouldn't that be a cool place to go to work everyday?

Still my favorite!

My work with executives and managers is dedicated almost entirely to empowering these amazing individuals, ennobling them to make the changes needed to move us all forward, whether that forward motion is in their companies, communities, or in this country and in the broader context. Sometimes that requires a slightly different approach.

And that's where this blog and this post come in....we need more laughter in our lives....laughter is the place of creativity, it is the muse, and she calls out to each of us.

As executives, middle managers, supervisors, we learned how to do 'serious'.  But do we remember how to dance, to sing, and to laugh until our bellies ache.   Watch this til the end and tell you aren't smiling!

(And Matt's from Seattle!)

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.